The Waiting Game

Apparently I'm not a very patient person. I'm definitely not good at waiting. Every year at Christmas I would snoop around the house until I found my presents, or if I never found them, I would carefully open then rewrap those that were already under the tree. Yes, I'm that impatient. Pregnancy killed me, talk about a long wait, 40 weeks could not go by fast enough for me to get to hold my baby in my arms. In fact, for each I was able to con the ob into inducing a little early. Tears helped.

This week I've been awaiting the diagnosis of the mass that was removed Tuesday morning. Thanks to my wonderful doc, we do know it is cancerous. Let me say, I know I did not paint him in very good light, but he really is an excellent surgeon. I had worked with him in the OR at All Saints and knew full well what I was getting when I chose him. No personality, excellent skill. I'll take it. Anyway, we just are waiting to see what our treatment options are. I know these things for sure. God is in control, first and foremost. The surgeon was able to remove the entire mass with clear margins, and he removed lymph nodes in the area that were all clear. These are all very good things. We are waiting now to see if I must have any follow-up radiation. Which brings us back to waiting, my next appointment is Monday morning, unless my surgeons office gets a copy of the path report sooner and his nurse promised she'll call and get me in before the weekend if that happens. Well, here's the thing, just like Christmas, I couldn't wait. So I called in a favor and had a mole in the hospital leak a copy of the path report to me. So this afternoon I'm gonna call his nurse and beg for an appointment tomorrow so we can discuss treatment options.

My surgeon, mister personality, is soon to find out, I'm not good at waiting.

I'll share one last thing I've learned in the past couple of days. Well, I admit I already knew this professionally, but now I've learned the lesson personally as well. Dr. Google is not a friend. Even as a nurse and using reparable sites available to clinical personnel. I need to stop, wait, be patient and discuss with my surgeon. I'm getting ahead of myself with all the reading I'm doing.

Thanks for all the prayers and support.

My Yearly Post

I only post about once per year and each time it is about my weight and dieting. I contemplated either deleting the blog out of embarrassment or try to change both the yearly blogging and the obsession with weight/diet posts (that have clearly gotten me nowhere). So here we are, one year almost to the day since I last posted and I can't seem to come up with anything to blog about at the moment. Maybe I should just delete this blog. Well, here is a list of ten other things I also do yearly, in no particular order.

1. Spend way to much money on two little girls birthday parties, each year vowing we'll keep it simple next year.

2. Have my car inspected, usually three months late and only after getting a ticket. Thus the hassle of taking the receipt and the ticket to city hall and pay a twenty dollar court fee to have it dismissed, also vowing not to let it happen again next year.

3. Have a yearly well-woman exam, although it has now been three years and I keep reminding myself I need to call and schedule that exam, but never actually remember to when I have the time. (like now, at three am)

4. Change the oil in my car. I blame this on John. He really should step up to the plate and take care of the man chores; cars, bills and yard. But hey, he is a better housekeeper than I, so I'm saying nothing (to his face).

5. Have the girls pictures taken together professionally. I hate that I only get this done yearly. I'd love to do it seasonally, but it's really a pain to choose nice clothing that will compliment each other and that they'll agree to wear, not to mention trying to get them to cooperate.

6. Bake a cake, usually at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I buy all our birthday cakes and it makes me feel like a bad mom.

7. Actually cry at a movie, this year it was Justin Bieber's Never Say Never. You should see it.

8. File our taxes. This is a joint effort of John and I and we usually argue a little, especially when it's April 14th at 8pm. Thank God for online filing.

9. Have the car washed. Isn't that what rain is for?

10. Have another birthday, where I move even closer to no longer being a thirtysomething mom. Hopefully, there will be many birthdays in my future. I found out today that the mass I had removed was cancerous. Kinda surreal. Hopefully by having the mass removed that's all I'll have to do, maybe some radiation, but we're not for sure yet, waiting on lab analysis to find out what kind of cancer, then the treatment will be determined.

So if anyone still actually reads my blog, I'm sorry I just threw that in there, but really I'm trying to stay lighthearted and positive about it. Maybe putting it in blog form and trying to be funny isn't the way to go. Here is how it was shared with me. My surgeon, apparently having missed his bedside manner 101 class, stood over me as I opened my eyes in the recovery room and said, "well it's cancer, should be very treatable though, see you in the office next week" and turned to John and said, "excuse me" as he moved passed him leaving. Wow, I'm glad he makes up in skill what he lacks in personality.

Diet Fail

A blog post inspired by FAILblog, they never fail to provide a good laugh for me.
At the dinner table the other night Madi said, "I know what a verb is, it's a person, place or thing." I immediately corrected her, explaining, "no, that's a noun, a verb is a word that describes the noun." John's jaw totally hit the floor and he's all, "are you kidding me?" and rolling laughing. Education Fail.
Dieting. My last post in April was about me starting the hcg diet. I hadn't actually done it yet, just laid out the plan. Well, I received the hcg in the mail, started taking it and have lost 3.2lbs of which I have gained back only 4. On this diet you weigh yourself daily. Which,by the way totally sucks. Every morning I drag my big butt out of bed, slowly mope to the kitchen just to step on the scale and be reminded of how much I weigh. I then inject myself with the hcg and pour myself a diet Dr. Pepper. You may only have 500 calories split between two meals in a day. I watch the clock like a hawk just waiting to eat the 4oz of chicken breast, cucumber, one piece of Melba toast and an apple for lunch. Sounds delicious, no? I finally eat. By three I'm watching the clock again. I eat a similar dinner. After dinner I'm watching TV and it hits. The uncontrollable need to go to the kitchen and eat any and everything in the cabinet or fridge. I mean everything. The entire box of fruit snacks that are meant for the kids. All the Jello pudding cups (also the kids') from the fridge. A couple of Popsicles, some popcorn and if that's not enough I somehow manage to find chocolate! Diet fail.
Hmm, maybe I should reconsider a diet that starves you of breakfast, the meal that's held so sacredly by nutritionists to be the most important meal of the day, but allows you to drink soft drinks in any quantity.

I may be crazy!

I have an idea for a direction to take my blog. After seeing Julie and Julia, which I didn't really like, I had an idea. I'd blog about everything I put in my mouth for the course of the day. It'd be interesting because I eat total crap. I mean sometimes I get grossed out thinking about what I had to eat that day. Like, the cheap store bought cotton candy that's been sitting there for God only knows how long that I ate for breakfast this morning. I know, totally gross. Hopefully, this type of blog would serve two purposes, encourage others of how proud they should be of themselves for their total self-control and healthy eating habits; and also make me more aware of what I eat. Just maybe I wouldn't eat a Little Debbie brownie as I'm in the kitchen cooking dinner! Seriously though, I'm about to start a diet. When I say "about" it's because I had to order an injectable medication that you take daily. I ordered it, just waiting for it to arrive. The diet is called the Simeons' Protocol. It's kinda crazy. It is the diet that places advertise 'lose forty pounds in forty days guaranteed'. But I'm not going to their clinics. At work there are several (four) CRNA's that are on it and have experienced good results. Two of them went to the clinics and got started then realized they could order the Hcg online and follow the same diet protocol and not spend the $1200.00 that the clinics charge. I know this is totally crazy of me and you're thinking, "Holy crap Sharon, bad idea" and maybe it is, but I'm gonna at least try it a week. The injections help curb your appetite and force your body to use it's fat stores for energy as you're on a very low calorie, low fat, no carb diet. It's pretty extreme and I may not last a weekend but I want to give it a shot.
Before y'all start telling me the keys to loosing weight are to exercise and eat fewer calories than you burn, let me say, I know. But you're talking to someone that exercises NO self-control, but I figure if I'm sticking myself everyday I may be more likely to stick to the diet plan.

Posting

I haven't posted to this blog in so long that I couldn't even remember how. Wow, now that's bad. You see John and I share the computer and I'm too lazy to sign him out so I always just browse the web with him signed in. Then when I do decide to visit my own blog, I have to figure out how to sign him out and log me in so that I can post. Okay, done. Now to figure out how to post. Not so easy when I'm all hopped up on cold meds. Everything is kinda fuzzy and I'm shaking like crazy. Fun. So it's been, let's see, months since I last posted. I've had plenty to say but I've been spending more time on Facebook and less time here. So, If you want to know what I've been up to lately you know where to go, but here's a rundown. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep for three days. Then on day four I get Madi off to school and spend some one on one time with Gracie (she prefers that we go for doughnuts, but it's getting me nowhere with WW). Pick Madi up, do homework (against much protest), break up several sibling fights. Bathe and feed them, put them to bed. Throw in three soccer practices and two games over a course of four days and then the week starts over. Sounds like fun, huh.
So when are we having baby #3, let's see.....not anytime soon. I think I've gotten too old. So sorry Aunt Annie and Aunt Courtney, the girls and I will just have to live (can't think of the word...I'm on cold meds here). Vicariously, that's it. We'll just have to enjoy y'alls babies. But, Aunt Courtney I know you hate being bugged about it, so thanks to Aunt Annie, we won't mention it again. For a couple of months anyway. And, the other night at dinner. I totally did NOT tell Madi to ask you, "when are you gonna have a baby". She came up with that all on her own. Promise.
This post started as why I haven't posted, and turned into something totally different. Thank you, Theraflu.

Children's proverbs

I received this in an email, you may have seen it before, but I found it very humorous. Children are so dang funny. Some of these seem a little too smart for first graders but still very clever.

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1. Don't change horses... until they stop running.
2. Strike while the... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before...Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of...termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but...How?
6. Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
7. No news is...impossible
8. A miss is as good as a...Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new...Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll...stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust...Me.
12. The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
13. An idle mind is...the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's...pollution.
15. Happy the bride who...gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is...not much.
17. Two's company, three's...the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as...Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed...get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you...See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind...get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand...is going to poop on you
And the WINNER and last one!
26.Better late than...Pregnant

Now, I want to add my own little humor.
Madi asked me in the car. "Mom where do babies come from? And, don't just say heaven, how do they get from heaven to inside the mommy's tummy?" I explained that it was complicated and she'd learn when she was older. She said, "well I can handle it now, I'm eight and I won't throw up or anything, I promise."

Guilty

I couldn't remember the last time I called in sick to work and I'm really exhausted so I called in for tomorrow. Now this is something I've never done before, calling in the night before. First, let me say the lady working the night before is waaay nicer than the beeotch that answers the phone a 5 am. She's always so completely rude and not sympathetic at all that you're sick, or "sick" wink, wink. I later remembered that the last time I called in fake sick to work I blogged about it so I came over here to see exactly how long it'd been. Not that long, so now I feel kinda guilty, but not too guilty. Tomorrow was an extra shift. The third extra shift in as many weeks. I have a couple more things to blog about but am gonna save it for later when the girls aren't about to kill each other.