Posting

I haven't posted to this blog in so long that I couldn't even remember how. Wow, now that's bad. You see John and I share the computer and I'm too lazy to sign him out so I always just browse the web with him signed in. Then when I do decide to visit my own blog, I have to figure out how to sign him out and log me in so that I can post. Okay, done. Now to figure out how to post. Not so easy when I'm all hopped up on cold meds. Everything is kinda fuzzy and I'm shaking like crazy. Fun. So it's been, let's see, months since I last posted. I've had plenty to say but I've been spending more time on Facebook and less time here. So, If you want to know what I've been up to lately you know where to go, but here's a rundown. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep for three days. Then on day four I get Madi off to school and spend some one on one time with Gracie (she prefers that we go for doughnuts, but it's getting me nowhere with WW). Pick Madi up, do homework (against much protest), break up several sibling fights. Bathe and feed them, put them to bed. Throw in three soccer practices and two games over a course of four days and then the week starts over. Sounds like fun, huh.
So when are we having baby #3, let's see.....not anytime soon. I think I've gotten too old. So sorry Aunt Annie and Aunt Courtney, the girls and I will just have to live (can't think of the word...I'm on cold meds here). Vicariously, that's it. We'll just have to enjoy y'alls babies. But, Aunt Courtney I know you hate being bugged about it, so thanks to Aunt Annie, we won't mention it again. For a couple of months anyway. And, the other night at dinner. I totally did NOT tell Madi to ask you, "when are you gonna have a baby". She came up with that all on her own. Promise.
This post started as why I haven't posted, and turned into something totally different. Thank you, Theraflu.

Children's proverbs

I received this in an email, you may have seen it before, but I found it very humorous. Children are so dang funny. Some of these seem a little too smart for first graders but still very clever.

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1. Don't change horses... until they stop running.
2. Strike while the... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before...Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of...termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but...How?
6. Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
7. No news is...impossible
8. A miss is as good as a...Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new...Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll...stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust...Me.
12. The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
13. An idle mind is...the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's...pollution.
15. Happy the bride who...gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is...not much.
17. Two's company, three's...the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as...Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed...get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you...See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind...get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand...is going to poop on you
And the WINNER and last one!
26.Better late than...Pregnant

Now, I want to add my own little humor.
Madi asked me in the car. "Mom where do babies come from? And, don't just say heaven, how do they get from heaven to inside the mommy's tummy?" I explained that it was complicated and she'd learn when she was older. She said, "well I can handle it now, I'm eight and I won't throw up or anything, I promise."

Guilty

I couldn't remember the last time I called in sick to work and I'm really exhausted so I called in for tomorrow. Now this is something I've never done before, calling in the night before. First, let me say the lady working the night before is waaay nicer than the beeotch that answers the phone a 5 am. She's always so completely rude and not sympathetic at all that you're sick, or "sick" wink, wink. I later remembered that the last time I called in fake sick to work I blogged about it so I came over here to see exactly how long it'd been. Not that long, so now I feel kinda guilty, but not too guilty. Tomorrow was an extra shift. The third extra shift in as many weeks. I have a couple more things to blog about but am gonna save it for later when the girls aren't about to kill each other.

New Low

I happened upon this blog post just after ordering my bathing suit from Land's End for vacation. Apparently, I've reached a new low. But, boy are my girls worth it! Yes, still using the 'baby weight' excuse and Gracie is 4.

Vacation Checklist

We've been to Destin twice. The first time Madi was 3 and we went with friends. The evening before we left I took her to get a haircut and they totally botched her hair. Last year about a month before our family vacation I got the worst haircut of my life. So, yesterday I was in desperate need of a bang trim and thought, "We'll all get trims before vacation." Bad idea. We went to Fantastic Sams in Burleson where I have taken the girls for the past couple of years and they always do a fantastic job. So Gracie goes first and I tell the stylist "just a half inch off all the way around and a bang trim." A second stylist for Madi and I give her the same instructions. Third stylist for me, "bang trim, shape up my layers", so here we are all in a row with Madi next to me and Gracie just outside of eye shot on the other side of her. Madi's done first, looks great. I'm thinking, "she's sure taking a long time on Grace for such a simple little trim." Finally, Gracie appears in front of me to show off her new look. "Oh, sweetheart, you look...cute." She took half an inch off her bangs! It was hard for me to hide my disappointment. Poor baby, it looks as if she cut them herself.
One bad hair cut...check.

My Girls Crack Me Up

John's at work and I'm doing some Internet shopping. I was browsing Target's site and happened to be looking at this dress, in walks Gracie and says, "You should get that dress. You'd look like Jesus."

Madi experienced her first irritating sales call yesterday and it cracked me up.
Phone rings. Madi darts across the kitchen for the phone....
Hello. (pause) Um. (pause) No. I don't know what you're saying. (long pause) You must have the wrong number 'cause that's not how you say our name. (pause) Here's my mom.
She looks at me and says, (sigh) "I don't know what they want, they're asking for a head-patch or something."

Trekkie?

We haven't seen a movie in over 5 months! I wasn't at all excited about seeing Star Trek. I didn't even know there had been previous movies, I thought it was just a show. I had seen bits and pieces of the show here and there growing up and wasn't impressed. However, I was very excited to have a super awesome date with my husband, becuase we hadn't in like, 5 months!!!! Anyway, it having been his birthday and all he got to pick since this was really his birthday date. However, I ended up loving the movie. Big fan of Star Trek now. Big fan of James T. Kirk. Maybe not quiet ready for a trekkie convention, but if Chris Pine was gonna be there, I might would go.
(Love ya J.B., thanks for the date!)

Summer Camp

I haven't been to summer camp since um, summer of 1992. Apparently, 17 years later it's time to go again.
I have a sinus infection that drove me seeking help to our local 'doc-in-a-box' that John lovingly refers to as "Amateur Hour". You see once we moved away from Arlington we have been seeing a local family practice group that takes walk-ins only, no appointment necessary. This in and of itself should tell you something. It is an all D.O. practice and they also have medical students and interns from the D.O. school in Ft Worth training with them. Hence, "Amateur Hour".
So, I am there yesterday for the sinus infection and the "nurse" ( I use that label very loosely) asked me "would you like documentation for your insurance to pay for fat camp?" Now, I had set myself up for this by asking if they had any weight-loss assistance programs. But seriously, fat camp? True, I have gained some 15 pounds in almost a year and I am about 70 pounds heavier than when John and I married. I know it's time to do something! But fat camp? I didn't know they really existed. In my mind I guess I thought if they did exist that they were for obese tweens, you know the age that typically go to camp anyway.
Dude, I was just wondering if y'all give out diet pills! Sheesh.

Warning: Toilets clog easily

Toilets are quiet nasty in and of themselves. Then you have our toilets. Sigh. Our toilets do not work as they should. They clog sooooo easily. I swear, Gracie's little poop even stops up the toilet. This is so bothersome to me! We bought new toilets when we moved in, cause we figured it was the old ones causing the problem. Wrong. We had a plumber come in and reset them thinking this was the problem. Wrong. Apparently we're the problem. It's disgusting. I swear, I get asked this question more than any other question on a daily basis by my girls...
"Mom, which potty can I go to?" Which means, which one is not currently stopped up. It makes me want to scream!
If you thought this would be a funny poop story, I'm sorry, you'll have to read John's blog for those.

Sick

I called in sick today. Probably could have worked. Actually, definately could have worked but I just didn't feel like it. So if you don't feel like working then you actually are sick, right?

Better at blogging, still a dork

So I have made some progress in figuring out Blogger. I picked up from Courtney's blog the site for more cute backgrounds. (Thanks Courtney). But I'm still a dork. Take for instance there was a f behind my name so it appeared Sharonf. I just couldn't figure out why. Then astonishingly I clicked on edit profile and wouldn't you know there it was behind my name where I had typed it in. So no more f behind my name and I'm actually blogging. It only took me a week.

I'd like to place an order

So I'm sitting here playing with my blog and the phone rings. Not at all paying attention to the caller ID I pick up the phone. Here's how the conversation progresses:
Me: Hello
Madi: Yes, I'd like to place an order.
Me: Madi?
Madi: Yes, I'd like some ice-cream please. Can you come to the kitchen and get it for me?
Me: Yes, why didn't you just come in here and ask me or yell "mom" like you usually do?
Madi: I don't know, I thought it'd be funny to call you from your cell phone.
Me: That was funny, but you could've woken dad up.
Madi: So, are you gonna let me have ice-cream?
Me: Yes, I'll be right there.

Sometimes the things she comes up with totally crack me up.

Being a dork

I am such a dork. I totally can't figure out blogger. I had this little half hearted idea a few days ago and went to work on it, days later I am still working on it. I haven't put much time into it, but still it's frustrating me. Maybe in the future I'll share some of the names, titles and subtitles I had come up with that John totally shot down with his laughing, hence the feelings of dorkiness. For now I'll continue to work on it and continue being a dork, one of these days I'll figure it out, maybe.

Starting a blog

I've decided to start a blog. Now I'm second guessing myself. Do I really have anything to blog about? Does anyone care? Will anyone read it? My, my. I can't even figure out all the set up of it. At first I picked this awful hot pink background with pink lettering, way too much! I've changed that, now I need to focus on content.
I guess I could share that a Hydroxycut commercial came on t.v. today and Madi turned to me and exclaimed, "Mom, you should get some of that." She went on to explain, "Not that you're fat, you've just been saying you should go on a diet or exercise or something". She was doing some major back-peddling so all I could do was laugh.
That's it, I'll start a blog, if I can figure it all out.